I often work with clients who have been passed over for a promotion, not because they did not have the skills or experience, but because they don’t walk into the room like they do. If we don’t believe we are capable, we won’t assert ourselves when it matters.
I worked with a CEO who was very intelligent and capable, yet at home his wife belittled him. This impacted him negatively when he was under high stress situations presenting to his Board of Directors, and caused him to come across as unsure and uncomfortable. He actually believed he was not a great presenter because of what she had told him for so many years. This formed an attitude in him, and through our work together, he created a new attitude or belief that he is a great speaker, and today he is.
Other times, a person is struggling because of negative circumstances in their life. The negative experiences they are going through causes them to hold back. Negativity causes us to retract, positivity causes us to assert, to engage, to create. When my clients go through hard times personally, I tell them they are not the person they are feeling like at the moment, and their unsure feelings will pass, just like the flu. The key is to not allow yourself to form a negative attitude that we are our present circumstances. We have to view these circumstances outside of ourselves, and not believe that failure is who we are.
Some people take pride in old attitudes that are not even positive. In the past week, I have heard people say…
I am an introvert, so I keep to myself at work.
I am a grouch.
I don’t like people.
I am not a nice person.
In all cases, I wondered how this attitude was impacting their overall happiness in life, and their ability to form healthy relationship, and to thrive.
Do you find yourself procrastinating when you know you should be working on something specifically related to getting you to the next plateau? Here is a list of questions you can ask yourself to uncover any old attitudes that might be hindering your progress.
Where do I feel stuck in my life, and what is my general attitude in this area? What are some things I think about, say, or do in this part of my life?
Who in my life is making me feel like I can’t get beyond where I am today?
Who are the 3 people you spend the most time with? Are they helping you, or hindering you, from achieving happiness and fulfillment in your life?
Do you have someone in your life speaking positively to you, telling you what you are capable of, how you can achieve more in your life? Some who celebrates your wins, and supports you during difficult times?
Have you experienced a failure in the past that has caused you to retreat, pull back, versus strive forward?
We should to do things better in the future, than we were able to in the past. The challenge is, sometimes we don’t realize this, because we have outdated attitudes running our thinking and feeling processes. In reality, our altitude in life is determined by our attitude. If we don’t believe we can thrive or succeed, we won’t have the motivation to start. This is a trap that keeps people stuck where they don’t really want to be. We must override how we feel and move forward, while changing out our old attitudes for new and improved attitudes.